Batman Hates Halloween
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Flare-Aoi
Summary: Complete! It’s Halloween night, and Bruce Wayne does not want to deal with any kids like he has the previous years. This year, however, he gets a visit from an unexpected group of mischievous individuals. Rated T for comic mischief.
1. Part 1

**Story**: Batman Hates Halloween  
**Author**: Master Jin Sonata  
**Written**: October 2008  
**Genre**: Humor  
**Rating**: T (Language, Violence, Comic Mischief)  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own DC or its frustrated caped crusader.

* * *

**Part 1 of 2 **

It was a rather quiet evening at Bruce Wayne's mansion, the eve of Halloween.

Our hero, Bruce, was sitting by the warm, crackling fireplace reading the Gotham City Gazette. His butler, Alfred, was busy tending to the housework.

This was not Bruce's favorite time of the year. For whenever Halloween came, he was always bombarded with mischievous children who teepees his home, pelt it with egg shells, or smash the various decorations he set up in front of his lawn.

That was all in the past.

This year, Bruce decided to do nothing of the sort.

"**I see you're not in the holiday spirit this year, Master Bruce,"** Alfred commented as he cleaned around our hero.

"**You got that right. I've had enough of dealing with mischievous children every Halloween. It's bad enough I deal with other freaks though the entire year. I definitely don't need those bite-sized brats coming to me anymore,"** Bruce commented as he continues to red his paper.

"**Such a pity…I sort of looked forward to seeing you fired up at the sight of rotten eggs on your doorstep,"** Alfred said with a chuckle as he proceeded to another room.

"**Hmph!"** Bruce grunts at his butler's comment.

Then the doorbell rang.

"**Nope, not answering it,"** Bruce says to himself, continuing to read his paper.

The doorbell rang again.

"**Go away you little brats…"** Bruce mumbles as he tried to continue concentrating on his paper.

Much to his dismay and annoyance, the doorbell kept ringing.

"**Oh for pete's sake!"** Bruce growls out loud as he throws his newspaper down and stands. **"I'll have to put a note on the door saying no candy will be given here,"** he says with a sigh.

Bruce approaches the door, and opens it.

"**Sorry kids, no candy h---"** Bruce says, sticking his head out…

_**PSSSSSST!!!**_

…when he is suddenly sprayed in the face with a weird chemical, causing Bruce to collapse onto the ground into a deep sleep.

"**Excellent. Let's go have some fun boys and girls,"** said the Joker as he tucked his spray can away and steps over Bruce, followed by Cat Woman, Scare Crow, Harley Quin, and the Riddler.

**End of Part 1 **

* * *

**Poor Bruce. What will happen to him now? Please review!**


	2. Part 2

**Part 2 of 2 **

An hour later after Bruce was put to sleep by The Joker, he finally woke up in a daze.

"**Ugh…what the hell just happened…"** Bruce mumbles as he slowly gets up from off the floor.

Unfortunately for Bruce, it didn't take long for him to notice that everything inside his mansion was stolen.

His furniture…his prized statues…even his brick fireplace was removed.

"**Oh no…no…no…NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! AAAAAAALFRED!!!!"** Bruce shouts at the top of his lungs as he proceeds to inspect every room of his home.

After searching through several rooms on three floors, he finally locates Alfred, tied up and hanging upside down from the ceiling within the upstairs bathroom.

After untying and letting his butler down, Bruce wanted to know what the heck just happened.

"**I'm so sorry Master Bruce, but it seems like The Joker and his cohorts have ransacked your mansion,"** Alfred said to him.

"**I'm quite aware of that!!!"** Bruce grumbled angrily.

"**What will you do now, Master Bruce?"** Alfred inquires.

"**What else? Get my possessions back!"** Bruce says, turning to head down to his Bat Cave.

Once he reached the bottom step into the Bat Cave, Bruce's jaw became unhinged in shock to see that all of his high-tech equipment and vehicles had been ripped off as well.

Even his Bat Mobile was stripped and sitting on cinderblocks.

Extremely furious right now, Bruce proceeds to slip on his Bat Suit, which amazingly wasn't taken. After getting suited up, Bruce notices a small note within one of his compartments in his Utility Belt. He takes it out and reads it.

* * *

_**(((Happy Halloween, Bat Brain!  
Signed, The Joker)))**_

* * *

As if things couldn't get any worse, the doorbell rang back upstairs.

Bruce swiftly returns upstairs and opens the front door, only to see a bunch of little children dressed in costumes standing before him.

"**Trick or Treat!"** said the little kids as they held out their little bags.

His butler Alfred manages to look outside one of the windows of the mansion in time to see a very frustrated Bruce Wayne chase the little trick-or-treaters down the street in a fit of rage.

And that, my friends, is why Batman hates Halloween.

**End of Part 2 **

* * *

**The End!**

**How did you like it? Please review, and thanks for reading!**


End file.
